I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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