love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
