I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
