Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
