He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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