i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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