I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
