in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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