Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
