I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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