I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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