I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
