I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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