I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
