You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
