What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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