I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
