Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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