Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
