If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
