my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
