so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
