i don't like sucking hair
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
