I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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