he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
