Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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