How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
