so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
