Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Vodka?
Forever.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
