no you cant smoke seaweed
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
