I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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