Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
