nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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