I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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