if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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