Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
