@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
