He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
