is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
