He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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