why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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