I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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