Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
