I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
