After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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