the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
