That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
