The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
