Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I have post one night stand depression
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