if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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