Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
