try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
