his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize