I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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