Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
